On Friday 10 October, I was walking to the Friends Meeting House in Manchester to attend a neurodiversity event.
As I made my way there, a man ahead of me, focused on his phone, was walking slowly.
I stepped slightly to the left to pass him, hoping to avoid being late.
In that simple, ordinary moment, an ordinary act, moving aside became something else.
A White male with a foreign accent shouted at me as he passed:
“Why are you walking here? You were walking fine over there. Go back to your own country.”
He didn’t stop.
He didn’t look me in the eye.
But his words landed sharply a wound disguised as a sentence.
My heart palpitated. I felt sick.
I was shaken and disoriented before even reaching the meeting.
And yet, this wasn’t new. As a mixed heritage Black Jewish woman, I live this reality every day the small and large reminders that some people still believe others don’t belong.
What Did I Do Wrong?
Nothing.
I simply walked.
And that is the uncomfortable truth about racism, sexism, and hate speech: it doesn’t require provocation.
It feeds off bias, fear, and entitlement, not reason.
These incidents are not about what the target has done; they are about who the perpetrator believes they are.
For ethnically diverse women, especially those from intersecting identities, these everyday aggressions accumulate over time, eroding psychological safety, self-worth, and trust in others.
They don’t just bruise the moment they bruise the mind.
What Right Did He Have to Speak to Me Like That?
None.
No one has the right to degrade, demean, or discriminate.
The Equality Act 2010 is clear: no one should face harassment or victimisation based on race, religion, gender, or any protected characteristic. Yet, laws alone are not enough.
We can have equality legislation without having equality culture.
Culture is what happens when no one is watching in our workplaces, our homes, our schools, our conversations, and even on our morning walks.
Understanding the Trauma
Hate speech is not “just words.” It’s a psychological assault that can trigger a trauma response.
When you are targeted because of your identity, your body reacts instinctively, the heart races, stomach tightens, and thoughts scatter. Over time, repeated exposure to discrimination leads to chronic stress, anxiety, hypervigilance, and burnout.
For people already carrying multiple burdens racial trauma, gender bias, neurodivergence, or faith-based discrimination, the weight is cumulative.
It becomes not just an emotional injury, but a wellbeing emergency.
A Collective Responsibility
Every person, organisation, and institution must take shared responsibility for tackling hate in all its forms.
Racism and sexism are not “someone else’s problem” they are systemic patterns sustained by silence, ignorance, and inaction.
It begins with awareness but must move into accountability.
Checklist: How to Stop, Challenge, and Eradicate Hate
1. Educate Yourself and Others
- Attend equality, diversity and inclusion (EDI) training regularly.
- Learn about unconscious bias, microaggressions, and intersectionality.
- Reflect on how your identity shapes your worldview.
2. Create Brave and Safe Spaces
- Encourage open dialogue about race, gender, and faith without defensiveness.
- Listen to lived experiences – believe people when they speak.
- Protect confidentiality and emotional safety.
3. Review Organisational Culture
- Audit your policies and everyday practices for bias or exclusion.
- Establish zero-tolerance policies for racism, sexism, antisemitism, ableism, and all forms of hate.
- Embed anti-discrimination clauses in all contracts and partnerships.
4. Challenge Hate in Real Time
- Intervene safely when witnessing discrimination – be an active bystander.
- Report hate incidents through proper channels (workplace, police, HR, or third-party reporting centres).
- Use your privilege to protect, not ignore.
5. Prioritise Wellbeing and Healing
- Recognise the mental health impact of hate incidents.
- Provide trauma-informed wellbeing support, counselling, and time off where needed.
- Encourage restorative conversations and community healing.
6. Hold People Accountable
- Challenge discriminatory behaviour regardless of status or seniority.
- Link EDI objectives to performance appraisals, funding, or contract renewal.
- Remember: silence is complicity.
7. Model Compassion and Inclusion at Home • Talk to your children, friends, and family about bias and respect.
- Interrupt casual racism, sexist jokes, or xenophobic comments.
- Show empathy — teach acceptance through everyday actions.
Conclusion
I went to that event to learn more about neurodiversity about how difference enriches us.
Instead, I was reminded how difference still endangers some of us.
But change begins with naming what happens, not minimising it.
It begins when people refuse to look away.
If you’re reading this, take one action today not just to “not be racist,” but to be actively anti-racist.
Not just to support equality on paper, but to live it in every choice, conversation, and corridor.
Because until every person can walk freely without fear, without insult, without being told to “go back,” none of us are truly free.
Alyson Malach