Growing up, my family were the only Black family in our community. That meant we stood out before we even spoke, walked, or played. It meant our presence challenged people who were not used to seeing families who looked like us, and they did not hide their discomfort.
As children, we couldn’t simply blend into the background. Walking to school, sitting on buses, or playing outside, we were met with stares, whispered comments, or outright slurs. People felt entitled to shout, “Go back to where you came from,” even though we had been in this country since we were 5, 7, 9 years old. This was our home, our street, our school, our country.
We learned quickly that belonging was something we would have to fight for.
Life in a Community that didn’t want us
On buses, adults would pull their children away from us as if we were something to fear. Conversations would go silent the moment we stepped into a shop, shop assistants would give us our change on the counter, not in our hands like other White skinned customers. On the streets, people would make comments loudly enough for us to hear but quietly enough to avoid accountability.
And it didn’t stop in childhood. As adults, we continued to face the same hostility – looks, judgment, being ignored in queues, questioned, or followed. The message was always the same: you don’t belong here. A message repeated so often that it unconsciously shaped how we moved through the world, always alert, always cautious, always ready.
Witnessing Violence and Living with Fear
We grew up in an era where racism was not just spoken, it was acted out publicly and violently. I remember the fear of witnessing skinheads beating people who looked like me, simply for existing. The threat was real and constant. You didn’t have to be the one attacked to feel the pain; seeing it happen to someone who shared your skin, your features, your identity, was enough to carve fear deep into your memory.
That kind of violence stays with you. It teaches you that the world can be unsafe in ways others never have to imagine.
Building what we were denied
Because mainstream society refused to include us, we had to build our own spaces—our own banks (Pardner Banks), our own social clubs (West Indian Centres), our own networks to survive (Saturday Schools). These weren’t luxuries; they were necessities.
Pardner Banks: A Community Bank Built from Exclusion
British banks routinely refused to lend to Black families, labelling us “high risk” because of our race. So, we created Pardner Banks, community savings systems that allowed us to buy homes, start businesses, and survive. They existed because formal financial systems excluded us.
Saturday Schools: Repairing What the Education System Broke
Black children were underestimated, mislabelled, and funnelled into lower academic streams or ESN schools. Saturday Schools provided academic support, Black history, confidence-building, and cultural grounding. They counteracted the damage caused by systemic racism in mainstream education.
West Indian Centres and Social Clubs
When pubs and clubs excluded Black people, we built our own safe spaces. These centres offered community, culture, social belonging, and safety from racist hostility.
Policed, Monitored, and Treated Unfairly
Our community was policed more harshly and more frequently. We were treated as suspects before we were treated as people. Whenever something happened locally, we were the first to be blamed or questioned.
And It Still Goes On
These patterns haven’t disappeared—they have evolved. Racism is now quieter in some spaces but just as harmful.
Why I Share This Now
My lived experience is not an academic exercise. It is a lifetime of navigating racism in its many forms. If you have not lived this, your responsibility is to listen not to minimise or deny.
Racism: What It Is, Why It’s Denied, and How to Call It Out
Racism is still one of the most common, yet most routinely denied forms of discrimination in the UK. Despite decades of legislation, training, and public commitments to equality, too many people respond to reports of racism with phrases like:
- “It’s not racism.”
- “I didn’t mean it like that.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “We treat everyone the same here.”
- “It’s just a misunderstanding.”
Yet when asked to define racism, these same individuals, employers, or politicians often cannot. They jump to denial without engaging with the facts, the harm caused, or the lived experience presented to them.
This blog sets out what racism is, how it shows up in both obvious and subtle ways, and how to call it out especially when those in power are unwilling to name it. It also offers a Fair Reasoning Checklist to use before anyone dismisses a concern.
What Racism Actually Is
Racism is a belief, behaviour, action, system, or policy that disadvantages someone because of their race, ethnicity, colour, or cultural background.
It is not limited to intent.
It is not limited to slurs.
It is not limited to extreme acts.
Racism includes:
- Individual behaviour
- Institutional practices
- Systemic barriers
- Cultural norms
- Professional decision-making
You do not have to shout a slur to be racist.
You simply have to reinforce racial inequality, actively or passively.
How Racism Shows Up: Clear Examples
Below are examples across the spectrum from explicit racism to microaggressions and biased decision-making. These examples help cut through denial because they reflect real-world patterns that people from minoritised communities consistently report.
1. Racist Language (Direct and Indirect)
- Racial slurs or derogatory terms.
- “Jokes” based on race, skin colour, names, accents, or stereotypes.
- Describing ethnically diverse people as “aggressive”, “angry”, “intimidating”, “difficult”, or “not a good fit” without evidence.
- Commenting on someone’s English proficiency when they were born and raised in Britain.
- Fetishising (“I’ve always wanted to date a Black/Asian person”).
2. Racist Behaviour and Actions
- Following, surveilling, or over-monitoring Black customers, boys, or employees.
- Avoiding sitting next to someone because of their race.
- Not inviting ethnically diverse colleagues to social spaces, decision-making conversations, or informal networks.
- Excluding someone from opportunities because “clients prefer someone more ‘polished’.”
3. Microaggressions (Racism in Subtle, Everyday Forms)
These can be intentional or unintentional. The harm is in the impact, not the intent.
- Touching or commenting on hair (“It’s so exotic”).
- Saying “Where are you really from?”
- “I don’t see colour.”
- Mistaking someone for another colleague of the same race.
- Complimenting someone for being “articulate”, “surprisingly professional”, or “not like the others.”
- “You’re being too sensitive.”
- Assuming the only Black employee knows about Black issues or EDI.
Microaggressions matter because the accumulation creates a hostile environment, something the law recognises under harassment.
4. Stereotyping
- Assuming Asian people are good with numbers or quiet.
- Assuming Black people are angry, strong, or natural athletes.
- Assuming Muslim staff are all conservative or religiously strict.
- Assuming Travellers or Roma people are untrustworthy.
- Assuming someone’s work ethic based on their race.
Stereotypes fuel discriminatory behaviour, even when they are framed as compliments.
5. Unconscious and Conscious Bias
Bias is not neutral. It shapes recruitment, promotion, discipline, safeguarding, and leadership decisions.
Examples:
- Choosing a white candidate because they feel “more relatable”.
- Giving more second chances to white employees.
- Discrediting reports of racist behaviour because the reporter is Black or Asian.
- Lowering expectations for students of colour.
- Hyper-scrutinising Black boys in school behaviour systems.
Whether conscious or unconscious, the outcome is inequality.
6. Structural and Institutional Racism
This is where organisations or systems uphold unequal outcomes—often without overtly racist individuals.
Examples include:
- Policies that disproportionately discipline students of colour.
- Leadership teams with no racial diversity.
- Healthcare disparities (e.g., Black women are four times more likely to die in childbirth).
- Hiring processes are reliant on “culture fit”.
- Police stop and search rates.
When outcomes are racially unequal, racism is operating somewhere in the system.
Why Racism is so easily denied
People deny racism for several reasons:
- They fear being labelled racist.
- They centre their intent instead of someone else’s impact.
- They lack racial literacy and cannot define racism.
- They benefit from the system and therefore cannot “see” racism.
- They have never had to think about race before.
- It challenges their identity as a “good person”.
- They do not want the accountability that comes with acknowledging harm.
Denial protects the comfort of the person accused at the expense of the person harmed.
Why naming the category helps (and does not minimise Racism)
You noted something powerful:
Using categories like ‘microaggressions’ isn’t about softening racism—it’s about understanding how it shows up so we can address it properly.
Naming the form of racism supports:
- Accuracy
- Patterns of behaviour
- Accountability
- Training
- Policy changes
- Better reporting and data tracking
It never dilutes the seriousness.
It strengthens the response.
How to call out Racism when others refuse to acknowledge it
1. Stay anchored in facts, behaviour, and impact
Describe exactly what was said or done and how it landed.
2. Avoid debating intent
Intent is unknowable. Impact is measurable.
3. Ask the person to define racism
Often, they cannot. This shifts the discomfort back to the source.
Example:
“You’re saying it isn’t racism. Can you define what you think racism is?”
4. Use the Equality Act 2010
Racial harassment is defined as behaviour that:
- violates someone’s dignity, or
- creates an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating, or offensive environment.
This includes microaggressions.
5. Name the pattern, not just the incident
If it has happened more than once, highlight the frequency.
6. Escalate when needed
Use formal reporting routes, unions, third-party organisations, or external regulators.
7. Document everything
Dates, behaviours, witnesses, emails, patterns.
8. Protect your wellbeing
Calling out racism—especially when you’re the person affected—takes emotional labour and risk.
A Fair Reasoning Checklist
Before you say ‘It’s Not Racism’**
This is a good practice tool for individuals, managers, HR teams, politicians, and organisations.
- Have I asked the person affected how it impacted them?
If not, you cannot rule it out. - Am I centring my comfort or their experience?
- Do I understand the definitions of racism, harassment, and microaggressions?
- Am I relying on intent rather than impact?
Intent does not determine whether something is racist. - Might this behaviour reinforce stereotypes or unequal treatment?
- Is there a power imbalance I’m overlooking?
- Have I considered whether race shaped the behaviour or decision?
- Have I looked at patterns, not just the isolated incident?
One act may seem small—patterns tell the truth. - Am I qualified or sufficiently trained to dismiss a racism claim?
Most people are not. - If I am saying “It’s not racism”, what evidence am I relying on?
If there is no evidence, the dismissal is rooted in bias.
Final Thoughts
Racism is not always loud, obvious, or extreme.
More often, it is quiet, cumulative, and socially sanctioned.
When politicians, employers, or individuals refuse to acknowledge racism, they reinforce the very systems that allow racial inequality to thrive.
Naming racism clearly using accurate categories, consistent language, and evidence-based definitions is not divisive.
It is how we make workplaces, schools, and communities fairer.
And as you acknowledged, privilege does not disqualify someone from speaking about racism. What matters is how you speak about it, grounded in humility, listening, accountability, and a commitment to equity.